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thank you

by M

It's 3am and I found myself reading through my old blog - in 15 minutes I went through a whole year worth of posts. I wrote about not being able to write and how writing in English was becoming increasingly confortable. 

I know I haven't been writing half as much as I wish or had planned, but even so I'm writing more and better than I was in that final year. This post is just an acknowledgement - thank you past-me for making the decision to create this blog; and thank you writing-me for taking it in an unplanned direction. One that certainly doesn't feature on most "blogger" agendas. But at least I found my voice and my words again, and for that I couldn't be more grateful.

and since we're on the mood for serial posting, i'm taking the opportunity to mention that this blog turned 1 on the 17th. it's 7 years i've been sharing my thoughts online and this last year has been so different. i think this blog and this format have truly helped me find my voice even if that includes no capital letter, messy punctuation and overusing italic expressions. that was something i didn't know i was lacking and that has helped me write more effortleslly and often more genuinely.

in hindsight this 1st year was not the one i was expecting--these weren't the things i was expecting to write about when i embarked "on this crazy journey of finding my truer self" but surprisingly i still wrote them. and i guess the journey is still the same, just taking a different road. that's okay. 

here's to another year of writing. hopefully, more.


an introduction

by M

I've been blogging for long enough (six years today, to be precise) to know that introductions are always awkward. In an attempt to avoid that, I'll try to be straightforward.


Over a year ago, somewhere in 2014, shortly after finishing my first and biggest fiction work, words simply started to vanish within me. What used to be an urgent need, a therapy, something that boiled inside of me and eventually burst in the form of text, was gone. It was like I exhausted my stock of words and things to write about in those 17 chapters I'd been writing for six months prior. While I was - and still am - thristy for more, craving the thrill of it and the joy of creativity outbursts, it felt - and still feels - like I can't do it anymore. Like the ability has been removed.


This blog is yet another part of the (as it seems) never-ending process of getting back together with words, flirting cautiously and trying not to rush anything (in case it exhausts again). I'm trying to get rid of all the things that are holding me back, one of them being my previous blog, which I kept since the age of 11 and didn't feel comfortable anymore. The other being my beloved mother-tongue, Portuguese, which just seems way to heavy and overcomplicated now that I've caught myself in this endless love affair with English. I also had my dad bought a new desk and chair in hopes that a fresh workplace will do the trick.


As to this blog itself - I'm still unsure, pretty much like everything in my life. I know I want it to be my creative outlet, and a place I can truly see and be myself in. That said, I'm also pretty unsure as to what "myself" consists of, so expect the content to be all over the place. I just hope this grows to be my online home, who knows, for the next six years.


I don't know what brought you here but I hope you enjoy it. Please bear with me as I enroll in this crazy journey of finding my truer self and in the way, hopefully, some words for you to read about it.