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by M

It's late and I'm home alone. The windows are open and I'm not wearing pants. Outside I hear summer noises and the smell of still nights oozes in, bringing mosquitoes with it. I went out for lunch with Q and although it was nothing special, we got to sit outside wearing t-shirts and sandals under the sun. When I got home I showered the stickiness away and managed to finish my studying goal for the day. I promised no youtube videos, so I decided to read a bit before playing Sims; it's been at least 3 hours--maybe more, I lost count. I just sat on the flour in my bedroom, back against the window, the sun burning through my t-shirt, and read until I too hungry to ignore it. I love it when I'm able to ignore hunger and push through it, because that's always when I'm enjoying myself and life the most. So when it got late and my stomach growled I went down to reheat leftovers and brought them up to the attick. I don't like dining in the kitchen by myself anymore, it feels inadequate. I came all the way up with my plates and the book and opened the roof windows wide. There was a tiny spider and I ignored it in hopes it would ignore me too. Then I just sat on the floor eating with one hand and turning pages with the other; picking bits with my hands that fell to my bare legs. When I was finished I crawled to couch and lied here for I don't know how long, eventually I just turned on the light realizing the sun had gone down.

Nobody is home yet. I just went downstairs to put the dishes in washer and eat some fruitsalad straight from the bowl. I brought a piece of chocolate upstairs and decided to write down this evening before continue my readings. Before the feeling had vanished.



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