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absence as per usual

by M

i can't believe it's been a month since i last posted, especially after vowing to try and write every single day. to be fair i have been writing oftenish in other places scattered through life, but it never ends up being here for some reason.


i think mostly because all that i feel like writing about is london because it's been on my mind 24/7, but i still haven't managed to collect my thoughts and put them into words. which is funny because generally i collect my thoughts by putting them into words, you see and this time around it's such a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings, worries, emotions that i can't quite grasp them myself let alone express them.


i am trying, trust me. i've tried sitting down with the sole purpose of spilling it all out but i don't even know where to begin; i think because in a way it traces so far back that it's nearly impossible to pinpoint. maybe i'll end up writing 10k words about how every minute has led to this although that would probably turn into a whole dissertation about coincidence and energy and the universe and god. to be fair i don't really know if it's even possible to pull them apart - chance and me moving to london.


this reminds me of that one time alice and i wrote a song in class back in 9th grade. maybe i'll write about that one.