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a whiny post

by M

i think bottom line is this summer has been great but it hasn't felt like summers used to feel, have always felt. i don't know why, maybe it's just the pressure of the clock ticking, of knowing time is running and running out. then again maybe that's just an excuse. i've been trying to make sense of this as per usual and failing as per usual—i wonder if i'll ever get used to it. usually i try writing about it but it's hard when i don't even know when i'm writing about.

there are so many thing that i've left unsaid, things worth sharing that i haven't shared and that sucks because i love going through those memories in text format and i guess now it's a bit too late. i think this is a symptom of my newfound refusal to look back and dwell on the past. when time slips out of your hands and the future is galloping towards you at dazzling speed you can't lose focus looking back. and while i think that in the big picture that's a good thing, it's also kinda sad. because good things happened that i'd like to revisit in the future, but writing about them later never makes them justice.