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by M

Moving to London might be the no. 1 goal on my 2017 list and while my mind is often planning and daydreaming (and even worrying a little), I have been trying my hardest to appreciate the privilege of studying and living in Lisbon as best as I can. It helps that the weather has been LAesque and my dear sistemics teacher has decided to miss class twice. But nothing can compare to mornings spent in Starbucks, sunsets by the river or afternoon's like today's - in which we left uni at 2pm to go buy (veggie) hot dogs and ate them at the park, no coats, just sunshades and the grass and there we stayed for 2h. When we left the shadow still hadn't reached our spot and the breeze was not enough to puts us off, so I walked home and 7 minutes later here I was.


Thinking about rainy days and cheap coffee and handkerchief-sized dorm rooms is a bit uninspiring right now, but that's why I know it'll be worth it. Because when it's so easy to stay, so legitimate, so appealing in a sense, I still want to go. I still want so very much to go, even though it's hard and dautning and even a little sad. If I'm willing to give up this city and these friendships which are only now starting to bloom, to start over in an unfamiliar darker city, then I must really want to do it. And none of these ever hinders my excitement.

And a lot of people tell me that I won't come back, that I'll be sorta trapped in a country less welcoming but more open -- to opportunity, to education, to success even. I can't know right now if this is true and to be honest I don't even dare pondering on it; when tomorrow's uncertain as it is, I can't bring myself to think much further. But if that's the case, at least I'll have Lisbon to call home -- that alone is a blessing.