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It sure might be too early to speak, but I think what it comes down to in these two weeks of uni is the fact that today I spent over an hour discussing the refugee crisis, the whole trump situation, the holocaust and pretty much anything in between, sharing points of view, opions, theories even, with 3 people I know barely anything about. That and the fact that the one person I happened to "connect" the most with doesn't eat meat and we spent our lunch today eating veggies and talking about animals and cognitive dissonance and the videos and pictures we'd seen. I think this brings me an immense sense of belonging after being trapped in an environment that didn't quite repell me but surely didn't welcome me either for so long. It's a feeling I feared would never come.

 

And whilst the whole failed Gap Year situation is still lingering over me (and it will for a long time, I know for sure), I know god writes straight with crooked lines. I can't know for sure (and I can't settle for) that this was for the best, but at least the universe is trying to compensate things by making this experience not quite as daunting and scary as I thought it would be.

 

In the meanwhile, my application to London is officially in progress which brings all the more instability and overwhelmingness into the picture. At least I feel a bit at ease again with the thought that whatever happens happens and the universe will take charge and bring things back into place.

 

I can't hope but I can't give up, I have to trust that the outcome of this whole situation will be the best, because after all it can never be any other way.

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