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13
Jun17

life update

by M

Today I've packed most of my stuff from Lisbon and took the train back home. I didn't bring just clothes and toiletries, but more permanent stuff like my stuffed horse, cameras and purses. Classes are over and I spent the whole of last week soaking up Lisbon in all of its sunshiny glory, frolicking around town with my friends. We went south for the weekend I couldn't believe just how much I missed the beach. Sure I was at the beach in April in Malaysia, but it's different here. It's our beaches somehow, and the routines we've grown around it as family. The way we position ourselves in the sand almost always the same, how I end up crawling to the shade eventually while dad fries up in the sun for hours on end, mom's swims and how my sister always wants to stay a little bit longer.

 

And just like that, it seems, summer is upon us. My hair has grown into braids and for the first time in a long time I can't remember the last time I cut it. I finished this first year of uni, which was also the last. This last few weeks were just a hazy stretch of time, waiting for motivation that never came while cramming a semester's worth of workload into endless days, too many papers and little hours of sleep. It was not half as stressful as the first semester, mostly because I didn't let it be. Because I kept my focus on passing instead of succeeding for once. It didn't feel completely right, to be honest, but it was worth it. I skept uni to go to London and it really ignited a new kind of spark. Maybe the premise of a new chapter, or holding your breath when your about to leap into the pool.

 

Now I'm back home and today it really feels like it. How the sunset poured into the kitchen at dinner time, and just sitting here in the dimly lit attic, with the steady tic-toc of the clock while watching series and writing, at last.

 

I can't keep myself from wondering where the hell did time go. But I've been trying not to give much thought into it, especially considering what it means to have gotten here. June, that is. In 3 months I'll be living oceans away from home.

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